Officer 1951

Officer 1951

Gout. 41 years old. Can’t walk the sidewalk beat no more. 1949, that son of a bitch. Got that desk job in appeals now. Crushing hopes and making dreams come true. Pens and envelopes. Pens and envelopes. I put the paper out, the paper goes right to appeals. Nothing gets appealed. Collections and boots. It’s always collections and boots. Always.

Ohhhh. What the hell is this? On MY sidewalk? That’s obstruction 1, that’s what this is. Ohhh yeeaaahhhh, that’s obstruction 1. On MY sidewalk. This asshole’s gonna pay. Pay big. Is twenty dollars big? It’s pretty big. I ain’t payin twenty for much. I sure as hell ain’t gonna get no twenty dollar ticket because I RESPECT MY GODDAMN SIDEWALK. Twenty dollars is plenty big. Shit. 49’s day shift. I want that shift. I want it real bad. Night ain’t too bad, except in winter. Man, it is cold. It is cold out here tonight. 26? 27? Man. It is cold. His gout, my day shift. 50 ain’t hit quota. That’s my day shift. That’s mine. I hit quota. I’m up. This lesbian wagon obstructing put me up more. That’s where people walk. What if Sarge wants to keep me on night shift. You don’t mess with what’s workin. I’m valuable on nights. What if she keeps me on nights. Says somethin like ‘you’re too valuable on nights’. Shit. What if she keeps me on nights. Work too good. Hell. Maybe I hold the ticket on this one. Quota’s lookin too good. Maybe I hold the ticket. Maybe I’m not toooo valuable on nights. Keep it close. Man. I want that day shift. Maybe I hold the ticket. That’s my sidewalk.

Officer 1951 stepped out of his city-issued parking enforcement vehicle and exhaled. The breath crystalized in the freezing grasp of winter. “That’s twenty, Subie. Not on my sidewalk.”, he murmured quietly, courteously, given the time of night, as he slipped a violation notice under the callously parked vehicle’s windshield wiper. A swelling of pride throbbed in Officer 1951’s chest as he briefly reflected on a lifetime of truly meaningful service before returning to his city-issued parking enforcement vehicle and resuming his patrol.