Tail Check

The son of a mule-faced woman and a hallux, tutored twice over by a walrus thirsting for barbecue, Doug Pedersen fondly reflected on his upbringing and professional growth while loudly moving his bowels into a locker room toilet. Aroused by the scent and echoes, Darren Sproles awoke and emerged from under his heated rock.

"Coach, have you found my tail in there?"

"For FUCK'S sake Forty Three."